Just One Yesterday
by ThreeBulletsAtTheDangerParade
Summary: Sometimes the letters are long and headache inducing while other times she writes just a single word. But every letter, even if he can't understand half of it, speaks volumes to him as her heart breaks and bleeds out onto the papers in his hand. He needs to find her. And maybe he can save her like she saved him. AU. Jordan/Angela. may change to M later.
1. Running Circles

**AU: Jordan/Angela. **_**Sometimes the letters are long and headache inducing while other times she writes just a single word. But every letter, even if he can't understand half of it, speaks volumes to him as her heart breaks and bleeds out onto the papers in his hand. He needs to find her. And maybe he can save her like she saved him.**_

* * *

_Bleak._

Everything is so _fucking bleak_.

It's the same thing everyday. Yellowing floors, poster covered walls, dirty windows, slamming lockers, loud students and frustrating teachers. Everyday. Each locker door smashing to a close causes him to clench his hands into a tight fist, every obnoxious, high-pitched laugh that comes spilling from some fake skank on the cheer team makes his eye twitch and every _fucking teacher who has the nerve to even look at him in disgust like he's the biggest problem of them all and it would do everyone a god damn if he just up and left already._

Today was just one of those days. And for Jordan Catalano it was those days that pushed him farther than he could take.

_Everyday._

* * *

"Hey Catalano!" The frosty teen turned to stare at the two approaching boys. Shane and Joey. Joey gave him a wide, perverted grin,

"Damn Jordan those chicks you had on you last night were fucking delicious. Big tits, plump lips, long legs…" Joey trailed off, his eyes glazed over remembering the two girls that had been on Jordan's arms last night at one of Tino's parties. "You had a fucking threesome dude, you have to share all the gory details, because _fuck _I want me some of that ass _now_." Jordan only rolled his eyes, but allowed an amused smirk to curl at his lips.

"They were definitely worth another round." He teased, watching in slight amusement, slight disgust as Joey's obvious imagination began to itself apparent in his pants. Shane only laughed at their horny friend,

"Dude you're going to have a boner for the rest of the day if you keep this up." But Joey was far too gone in his fantasies to care or even hear what Shane said. The brunette rolled his eyes.

"So that good eh?" Jordan only laughed.

"Better."

Shane shook his head in awe. "I don't know how you do it bro, but even the seemingly innocent or unattainable become available just for you to even look at them. I know girls who would give the world to just _blow you._" Jordan just smirked at his friend, shuffling his feet to open his locker only to have someone's number followed by a lipstick mark fall out on a slip of paper. Shane tossed his hands up,

"See what I'm saying? You could fuck a teacher for Christ's sake!" Shane's eyes drifted passed his shoulder and to a leggy blonde in tiny spandex shorts and crop top. "And here comes Cynthia, dude. Guess we won't be smoking together this mornin' huh?" Shane teased Jordan, both boys knowing fully well that he was about to spend the next half hour or so fucking the brains out of Cynthia in the boiler room. Shane clapped Jordan on his shoulder while Joey managed to forget his sexual fantasies to stare at the blonde's massive breasts. He let out a low whistle.

"What I won't give to be you right now man." He muttered just before Shane grabbed him and pulled him away from Jordan and his favorite fuck buddy. She smiled seductively up at him, flicking her long blonde hair off her shoulders, her smoldering eyes already telling him exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Hey bad boy." She purred as she ran a long, manicured nail down his muscular arm. Jordan only smirked in response as the two made quick time in getting into the boiler room and even faster time in removing each other's clothes. Gripping her firm ass tightly, he forcefully bent her over one of the crates, causing the blonde to gasp.

"OH! _Jordan!_"

* * *

Some how, some way Jordan found himself actually in English class, his absolute least favorite class. He spent the entire time staring at the clock or the big-breasted brunette two seats down from him. She turned and gave him a sultry wink.

The teacher was going on and on about something. Well, probably the book they were supposed to be reading, but honestly, _fuck that shit._ Removing his eyes from the brunette, he let his icy gaze sweep across the room; for once he was not asleep in this class.

Everyone was so… mundane. He used to it, he supposed, seeing as his life was entirely mundane, black and white, bleached and drugged into a hazy collage of memories and dreams he can't decipher which is which. So boring. But whatever. Once the school kicks him out and gets enough money, he'll be out of this hellhole faster than a bat out of hell.

His eyes flickered the outside windows to see only more grey. A washed out world and he wonders if there's any point to actually drinking or getting high because the world already does a damn good job blurring and fading away on its own. What's the point of all this? What's the point of living?

But when the teacher calls on him and he only answers with a blank stare, his face devoid of any emotion and his eyes like knives, he is forced to remember why he drinks and why getting high feels _so damn good_ when disappointment flares in his English teacher's eyes.

_Whatever. _He thinks snidely. _I need a smoke._

* * *

It's lunch and Shane and Joey aren't anywhere to be found, probably hiding behind the quad, trying to get a better look at the girl's PE class. They're playing volleyball right now. Jordan is even tempted to find them and join in on the fun of watching girls in tiny clothes get all hot and sweaty.

_Very tempting._

But as appealing as that sounds, Jordan needs a little time to himself. After taking the brunette from English into the back of his car and having his way with her, he's realized he's little no time to himself to smoke and at least get a little bit out of his head if he's going to continue for the rest of the day. The rest of the day meaning skipping 5th and 6th and then going back into 7th for shop class.

Jordan swinging around the bleachers out by the football field, a cigarette already is dangling from his mouth. The brisk fall air nips at his face, carrying his smoke away and into the wind as Jordan sits down in the shadows. He takes a slow drag as he pulls out his Walkman, _Nirvana_'s album _Bleached _ready to go as the opening track kicks in. Jordan allows his eyes to close and his mind to wander; his jacket, cigarette smoke and music are the only things calming him down.

An hour or so later, the teen comes to, his cerulean eyes flickering open lazily. Nirvana has long since stopped playing and his cigarette is cold on the ground. He shifts his weight before slowly rising up from the cement ground.

Groaning, as his legs protest moving and he stretches up, his back elongating and his arms reaching until they hit the bleacher seat above him. He doesn't bother to grab another cigarette; it's almost time for shop, anyways.

As he shakes the sleep from his eyes, something colorful catches his eye. He turns and stares at the bright red thing, paper maybe, flapping in the wind. Slowly he reaches over and grasps the paper, pulling it free from the metal of the bleachers that held it captive. He doesn't know why he's actually interested in this piece of paper, it's nothing new and he'd normally look on by. But yet he holds it in his hands. Maybe it's the bright color, but Jordan can feel something in his gut. Something is important about this.

It's neatly folded and there's a small circle sticker holding it together, indicating that this is a note and probably not intended for the public eye. He glances back to where he pulled it from to realize the only way it could've been stuck there was if someone put it there, meaning this note wasn't dropped.

Vaguely he wonders if this is another love note from a shy girl, who isn't as bold as Cynthia but is probably willing to get into his pants. It's too bad he doesn't read. And yet when he goes to put it back, something stops him. Biting his lip, he sets it down on the bleacher step, but doesn't make to move from it. He just stares and is only broken from the spell when the bell rings; signally that 7th is about to start. Groaning Jordan snatches the letter back up and shoves it into his pocket before heading back to the school.

* * *

The letter seems to be burning a hole in his pocket through out the entire 45-minute class. It's frustrating really, shop is one of the few things he's actually good at and bothers to show for and yet he can't concentrate because of a fucking letter in his jacket pocket that he's not even going to be able to read to begin with. Not to mention it's either a love letter that he couldn't give a shit about or it's a stupid note to someone that will make no sense to him. And did he mention he could barely read to begin with?

He's been tempted to just throw it out, especially after he gets distracted over _what could possibly be in the letter _and almost loses a finger. But he can't and that frustrates him more.

Jordan lets out a strangled gasp as he slices yet another finger. _Fu-ck-ing hell._

* * *

Jordan makes swift time in leaving the shop class and getting out of the school, the day already weighing on him and he can't wait to just drive and escape this place and his head. Shane and Joey try and catch up to him but Jordan's in no mood to deal with them, let alone if he so much as hears another voice, another fucking word, he's going to punch a wall.

In his haste to just get to his beloved car and get the hell out of here, he doesn't notice the small teen girl who is crossing in front of him to get to her friends. By the time she notices the storming, muscular teen it's already too late as he rams his heavy body into hers. Jordan grunts, his anger flaring because of course, _of fucking course,_ let's just add to this day shall we? He turns his eyes onto the skinny girl who is now on the ground, her knee scrapped up and bleeding and her books everywhere. He feels his anger slip a little bit when he looks at those wide, scared green eyes, but he's in too much of a mood to care or help her out.

"Watch it, whore." He snarls and shoulders on by, stepping on her Algebra textbook in the process. He doesn't have time to deal with anyone today.

He pulls out of the school parking lot at neck breaking speeds and his tires screeching at him as he races off.

* * *

He doesn't know how long he's been driving but once he notices that he's actually nearing one of his favorite places to hide. He hadn't been paying attention to where he was going, only that he had to get out and go somewhere and he smiled, glad he came here.

He was down by the old railroad tracks that run through the forest about half an hour out of Three Rivers. The trains don't run by nearly as often as they used to, now only once at 1 in the morning or 5 in the evening. The tracks are one of his favorite places to be, where he can hide and let out all of his anger and emotion and just be Jordan. He's written some of his favorite songs out here on these tracks, songs he's never bothered to show the others guys, not until they actually get a band going anyways.

He just sleeps out here and writes music and listen to the forest and when the train comes he can scream as loud as he wants and no one can hear him. It's like therapy. The very little amount of homework he's ever actually done was out here, where it's quite and he can think. Of course, homework requires reading, so that usually doesn't last long and is done very rarely.

His mother showed him this place when he was just a little boy. When the abuse and alcohol became too much and she picked him up and took him out and they watched the stars and told each other stories and she sang for him. It's the only place he can go where he feels like she's still there. Back in a time where maybe it wasn't great, his father's abuse was far worse back then, but she was there and he actually felt loved. He'd remember her encouragement when he struggled to read simple children's books, her awe when he showed her the small little poem he wrote for her on Mother's Day. He remembered being happy, if only for just an hour a week. But then she left and he didn't come back to this place until he stole someone's bike and rode out here for an hour or so, with his acoustic strapped to his back and tears streaming down his face. That was 5 years ago.

He often wonders where she went. Why didn't she take him with her? When did she stop loving him?

He gave up on her returning after his father beat him into a bloody mess. He gave up crying for her. He gave up on wishes, on prayers, on hopes, and on dreams. Whoever was up there in that open sky, whoever wasn't up there, gave up on him a long time ago. And it's only a matter of time before everyone else does too. Everyone else who hasn't already given up anyways.

Instead of that scorching, frustrating feeling the letter had caused him since he picked it up, there was almost a feeling of comfort when he pulled out the red letter with a green sticker. It wasn't nearly as nice looking, as it was when he found it, the letter had been folded and crumpled and wrinkled. He liked the tired, worn out look better, though. It was much to clean.

Gentle he removed the sticker and unfolded the scarlet letter. The words blurred and moved and it almost already gave him a headache. He looked at the top, trying to figure out whom it was addressed to. He but the side of his thumb in confusion as he made out the opening three words. He wondered if he even was reading it write. This was no love letter, or a note passed between friends. He had no idea what this even was.

_Dear No One._

He wrinkled his brow in confusion. What the hell did that even mean? No one? He looked at the bottom where the write, a girl perhaps, judging by the nice handwriting, signed. It was a lot easier to read her signature seeing as there wasn't much of one. It was just signed _~A xo_.

So this letter wasn't addressed to anyone in particular and it wasn't signed in a way anyone could figure out who had written it. Suddenly the letter seemed to gain height in his callused hands. What does it say? He was torn between reading it, well trying to anyways, and burying it in the forest floor where _no one_ could read it. This letter was already far more personal than any sort of love letter, that, he could tell. These words held secrets to a girl he didn't know, secrets he figured she couldn't tell anyone, secrets _no one _knew. He knew if he tried to read this, he would be intruding into someone else's life without knowing who's. It was a scary thought. He could throw the letter away now and forget about the whole thing. Keeping him sane and the girl's secrets safe. But…

He analyzed the first sentence, few words slowly floating into clarity as he stared.

_Alone. Tired. Scared. Lonely. Listen. Story. Lost. No Control._

The letter seemed to be a kind of introduction, the girl, at least this is what he was assuming, was using the letters as a way not only writing in a diary, but also telling someone without actually having to tell someone. A way to escape, that Jordan could appreciate.

He looked at the last words, just before she signed off. _Thank you._

The introduction to the story of a lonely girl.

Did this mean there were going to be more? Jordan bit the side of his thumb, suddenly almost scared for the girl. This was a daring thing she was doing, putting her secrets out there, anonymously or not, and if her letters fell into the wrong hands, they'd be the talk of the school. They might not know whom they were talking about, but she would know, and he couldn't imagine that would be a good feeling.

None of the other words or sentences were making sense. So he gave up, but the message and gravity of the letter were far too much for him to even try and forget. He groaned and tucked the letter back away.

Guess he better go check back tomorrow and make sure no one else finds the letters, especially, any of his friends or school skanks. Jordan groaned. _How did this happen?_

* * *

**So this is an AU for Jordan and Angela. It's very angsty and some of the characters we know and love have very different situations. Or in Angela's case, things happening far sooner that they did in the series. The story will be mostly in Jordan's POV, seeing as he will be reading, or trying to, the letters and he does not know who Angela even is. Sorry if he seems out of character, this is my first time writing him. **

**Much love,**

**Emma **

**xo **


	2. Dear No One

As Jordan pulls up to the loft an hour after reading the letter, he can see that the rest of the guys are already there. He briefly wonders if he can just turn away now and not have to deal with his friends and their impending questions. Just as he gets ready to pull his car out and away, Shane comes out and yells,

"What are you doing Catalano? Get in here!" Jordan winces. Too late. He parks his car and walks out, his façade back, his face empty of emotion and his eyes are cold and distant. He dismisses Shane's obvious silent question as he enters the building. It's already starting to smell like beer and pot. _Smells like home._

Tino glances up as Jordan enters the room and Jordan is taken by surprise, Tino actually showed? Since when? Tino gave Jordan a hard look before nodding in greeting. Rayanne Graff was tucked under his arm on the couch, a can of beer in her hands as she gave him an almost disgusted look. He ignored her; he never knew what was up with Rayanne and why she seemed to hate him. He wasn't fond of her either, but he did a lot better job at masking his distaste. Then again, he did a lot better job at hiding his emotions than anyone at school.

His mind flickered to the letter. Or maybe he wasn't.

Shane walked in after Jordan and snapped at Graff. "What do you want?" Tino tensed but Rayanne only rolled her eyes.

"I'm glaring at your empty headed friend because he ran over my best friend today while he was PMSing." She snarled at Shane, but her eyes were glaring daggers at Jordan. Jordan paused, the memory of the skinny girl with big green eyes, flashed in his mind and he felt guilty. He wasn't going to let them know that though.

"She should've watched where she was going." He answered coldly and Rayanne stood up, ready for a fight.

"Listen here fuck face—" Tino silenced her by pulled her back down onto his lap.

"Chill Rayanne. What do you care happens to mousy girl, huh?" Rayanne gave Tino a scathing look.

"She's my friend and that 'mousy girl' has a name." She snapped while Tino rolled his eyes. Jordan turned and picked up his guitar and began tuning it. He was done arguing with Rayanne over some weird girl. Let Tino handle her.

But he still kinda felt bad.

Practice wasn't really practice, not that Jordan is surprised. They don't even really have an actual band. Sure, he's on guitar, Shane is on keyboards, Joey on drums, Tino does the vocals and they seem to alternate between two different bassists. The band is there, only Joey and Tino and whatever bassist show up seem to be more interested in the groupies that crowd around. Only Jordan is actually interested in the band, where as Shane cares about the band, but if the other guys have their hands up some girl's skirt, he's not going to sit behind the keyboard.

Not that there's anything wrong with groupies, Jordan quite enjoys having a little after practice sex, but he also wants to be able to practice too. Joey brings most the girls anyways, while Tino brings Rayanne and they may or may not fuck each other but he's going to fuck someone.

There were a few girls there tonight Jordan had a slight interest in, but for whatever reason, maybe his frustration with the band, maybe his slight guilt about Rayanne's friend, or maybe it was the letter in his jacket pocket, but he wasn't really in the mood. He let one of the girls blow him, there's always time for a good blow job, even if this particular one was pretty second rate.

He left in the direction of his father's place instead of sticking around. Again, he blamed the letter, and his desire to put it somewhere same.

_Fuck, what was wrong with him?_

His Friday morning was slow, and when he woke up to his alarm the first time decided to fuck it and go back to sleep for another hour. By the time he was in the shower his dad was already gone and he had missed 1st period.

As he showered he thought back to the skinny girl he had knocked over and felt guilt creep in. He didn't remember what she looked like, he didn't remember the clothes she wore, or the color of her hair or skin, the only things that stuck out to him was the fearful look on her face and those wide, emerald eyes.

Jordan knew he intimidate people; he knew he even scared others, he was fine with it. It kept people away from him and gave him power, but something about her; the way she had looked hadn't sat right with him. He didn't want her to be scared of him, but he didn't even know who she was.

Whatever.

When he finally pulled up to the school it was second period, PE, or basketball more precisely. He loved basketball. Another one of the few things he was actually good at. Jordan could count the things he was good at on one hand: music, cars, sex, basketball, and shop. And why the fuck would he need anything else?

But PE had already started and was finishing up soon anyways so there was no point in changing only to have to redress. Guess he was skipping 2nd today. But that meant he'd have to either go to English or Math today and there was a test in Math… English it is. Ugh.

Feeling absolutely pathetic as he realized he was headed back to the bleachers… and it wasn't about taking a nap. Jordan was almost angry with himself, it was just a letter, a letter that might not even be there for Christ's sake. Not to mention a letter he couldn't even read.

But he pulled out a cigarette and head over anyways. He searched around, trying to find another piece of red paper, neatly folded and held together with a sticker like a present. He shook his head in self-disgust. God, what _was _wrong with him?

He couldn't find a letter and began to doubt his own sanity even more. He was pathetic. He needed a beer. And a chick to fuck. He looked out at the field where a girl's PE class was playing Lacrosse. His eyes drifted to, surprise surprise, Cynthia who was in this class. She was sweating a little and her impossibly short skirt barely covered her butt and her breasts were falling out of her shirt. Jordan felt his pants stir a little.

He waited until the class began to head back to the locker room before he made himself known to Cynthia. A few other girls turned to stare in jealousy or in lust. Jordan only smirked as Cynthia sauntered over, her hips sashaying dangerously. _She was exactly what he needed to get his mind off of the letter._

She reached him and ran a hand over the growing bulge in his jeans. She smiled coyly while he only smirked as they left the rest of her class standing there in awe. He enjoyed the jealous and lustful looks each girl was giving him, his dick stirring as several girls pulled down their shirts or hitched their skirts. He could take each of them in the boiler room right about now—

But Cynthia was impatient and she was definitely the better fuck than any of those girls. As he turned away, he thought he caught a glimpse of those haunting emerald eyes, but his mind was in other places, or rather his head was in other places.

Right now, he just needed to get to the boiler and get in this girl as fast as possible.

Jordan slept through the rest of the day. After missing 80% of English in the boiler room, he just decided to skip the entire day and nap in his car. It wasn't until the final bell rang that Jordan woke up. Not wanting to waste time he pulled out of the school and headed back to his house, the letter far from his mind. He was ready for Tino's Friday party.

After showering and changing into more party like clothes, meaning clothes easier to take off, he went straight to the loft where the party had already started. Tino's parties started earlier than normal high school parties but they lasted fast longer too. Tino was the king of parties after all.

When Jordan pulled up, the party was already in full swing and he was excited to finally cut loose. The school week was over and he just wanted to get wasted and laid.

Shane greeted him at the door eagerly. "Dude! Where'd you go today?" Jordan only shrugged, letting his eyes slide passed his friend and into the party, where there were already girls looking at him and swaying their hips. He smirked.

"Skipped." He replied absently, his focus already captured by a redheaded girl in tube dress who was already undressing him with smoldering eyes. Shane snorted when he noticed what Jordan was looking at.

"Damn, dude, barely in the door and already making eyes." Shane laughed. "Try and save some for the rest of us, eh?" Jordan didn't respond as he went to grab a beer, his icy blues never leaving hers.

Today was a good day.

Jordan left the bedroom where the redhead was fixing her dress with a smirk on his face and a predatory look in his eyes. Next round.

He found some more beer and took a joint of pot from some guy. He could just feel the stress slipping away, the marijuana completely smoothing out whatever nerves he had left. All tension was gone and he was on the hunt for his next lay.

Jordan spotted Rayanne, only instead of being all over Tino, she was (talking? Helping?) out some girl. The other girl seemed to be wet, like someone spilt beer all over her. Her blonde hair was also wet and her light shirt had become see-through. She didn't have much to show though.

Rolling his eyes he turned away and began the hunt for the next girl, who wasn't too far if the looks that leggy Asian girl was giving him meant anything.

By the end of the night Jordan had been with another girl after the Asian chick, and was now fucking the hell out of Cynthia in the back of his car. He found it funny how the two of them always came back to each other. She was his regular. Sure he had other girls he fucked once and while, but him and Cynthia seem to do it at least once a day.

He didn't harbor any romantic feelings towards the leggy blonde, but she was damn good in bed. He wondered vaguely if Cynthia felt the same way. He hoped so, he didn't want her to think that they something _special _or some other bullshit like that, because they don't. She's just better than 90% of the other girls he's fucked. And if she developed feelings for him that would really throw a wrench in his sex life.

Despite everything that was said about him, and all the flaws he had, he wasn't a liar. He wasn't going to lead some girl on, intentionally anyways. It didn't matter to him what she thought, that was her own fault if they thought they had something, but he wasn't going to pretend like they do have something.

Cynthia asked him to drive her home after the party and he agreed. But when she leaned over and asked him to come in, Jordan drew the line. He had fucked her in her bed before, but she had this look in her eyes, like she expected him to stay, like he was supposed to be there in the morning, _like he was supposed to meet her parents._

Jordan smirked. "Sorry, Cyn, but I've got to get." And then he reached over and unlocked her door. "Bye." Cynthia looked stricken,

"Ex-_cuse me?_" Jordan only gave her a blank look.

"See you on Monday." Cynthia screeched when he pushed her door open and gave her an annoyed look. In her fury she slapped her hand around his face, one of her nails managed to cut his skin and she stormed from the car. Jordan had to stop from laughing at how ridiculous that was. Cynthia, the unattainable, wild Cynthia, wanted to settle for a little while? She sure as hell picked the wrong guy then.

Jordan didn't feel like going home and he didn't want to go back to the party either. Maybe he should've at least indulged Cynthia and fucked her again. He sighed, _whatever. What's done is done._

He began driving in circles throw out Three Rivers with only the moon and the stars with him. He enjoyed looking up at the sky, driving fast and blasting music. He just let himself go and as much as he'd rather not admit, no amount of drugs, alcohol, or sex could make him this relaxed or free.

So if he was so free then why did he find himself back at school, at midnight on Friday? After spinning around the parking lot for a little while he stopped and found himself staring at the bleachers.

_No One._

_No, dammit, no._ Jordan cursed as he felt himself wanting to check again. But his curiosity got the better of him and he left the warmth of his car to look once again for a stupid red letter.

It was there this time, much to his anger. Well, he was really only angry because he was actually happy at finding the damn letter. What was wrong with him? After lighting a smoke, he grabbed the letter, cursing himself the entire way back to his car.

Taking a drag, Jordan found himself anticipating the letter, this mystery girl's next entry, and his first real look into her life. He was already one step closer to finding out what her reason was for writing these letters and—_dammit._ Talk about a fucking essay. Ok, it wasn't really that long but it was far longer than he even wanted to deal with.

But curiosity got the best of him again. It was once again addressed to _No One_ and signed by ~_A xo._

Despite everything, he really did want to know what was in the letter, but there was no way he was going to get the full picture. This girl needed to rant to someone, tall someone what was going on in her life and someone how she ended up with _him, _absolute worst choice. He felt guilty, for whatever weird reason, because she needed someone and she got stuck with him. He already failed her. And that knowledge hurt a lot more than it should have.

Saturday morning Jordan left his house to work in the garage for a couple hours before he headed off to _Bella's _a small café on the outside of town where his mother used to work. The woman who owns the place had became like a grandmother to Jordan, not that he'd ever admit it, and she was the only one who knew about his reading issues.

Maybe she could help.

The garage had a convenient lack of work needed so Jordan was actually getting finished a lot sooner than originally thought. As he finished working on someone's Ford engine, a familiar laugh caught his attention. He turned to see Rayanne across the street, surprisingly not with Tino or another guy. Actually a girl. As he looked closer, he realized it was that same girl from the party.

Unlike last night however she was smiling as the two girls ate ice cream and talked. Jordan took a moment to look her over, baggy flannel shirt and ripped up jeans, her blonde hair was pulled back and she had no makeup on. She was pretty Jordan admitted, pretty in an innocent way. He knew the other guys would disagree but that was because she wasn't like Cynthia or any of the other whores. She was natural. She wasn't hot or sexy, she wasn't fake or slutty. She was pretty and natural. It was almost… nice.

Jordan shook his head, _God; I'm such a pussy._ But try as he may, he couldn't turn away from her. She had a glowing smile. And very nice plump lips.

He wondered why he had never noticed her before, clearly she and Rayanne were very close and even Tino who doesn't even go to Liberty anymore knew whom she was. Granted, he knew why he had never noticed her before. He's either asleep, stoned, or fucking some girl with big tits and long legs. She'd blend into the background.

And oddly enough, he found that he liked that.

Jordan reached _Bella's _only two hours or so after the encounter with Rayanne and 'mousy girl'. He shook thoughts of the pretty girl out of his head and entered the café, the letter burning a hole through the fabric of his worn jacket.

"Jordan!" Ms. Bella squealed as he entered, a large smile on her aging face. He smiled back, warmly and allowed the older woman to wrap her arms around his thick body. "My, how you've grown!" Her warm attitude quickly changed to scolding however, "And where the hell have you been, boy? You never visit anymore!" Jordan rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I've been around."

She gave him a withering look that meant she knew more than he thought she did. "Believe me I know you've been around. Especially with teenage girls. I had to listen to some blonde haired bimbo gush her time with you in the boiler room while I was getting my hair done." She snapped and Jordan groaned. _Oh God…_ "You better be using a condom."

Jordan put his hands up. "I'm not stupid."

"Well clearly you are," she huffed. "If you're going around and sleeping with everything that has legs and boobs and not settling down and finding yourself a future wife!" Jordan rolled his eyes; they seemed to have this conversation every time he made an appearance at the café.

"Well, come on now, sit down, order whatever it is, you order, and then we shall discuss what it is you need."

Jordan gave her a baffled look. "Why do I need something to come visit you?" He sat down at his favorite seat at the bar as she went around and started up the machines. "And shouldn't you know my order? I only ever get the same thing—"

"Bah. You've been gone for far too long, how do you expect a little old lady like myself to remember?" She teased, already making his coffee and preparing an open faced, margarita sandwich. "And of course you don't need anything to come visit, but that is the only reason you visit anymore, so… out with it boy. What do you want?"

Jordan looked sheepish, "Sorry, ma." He pulled out a letter. "I need someone to read this to me." Bella rolled her eyes but took the red letter and gave him a look,

"Is this a love letter? Or a love letter that's going to scar my poor brain?" Jordan laughed but shook his head.

"Nah. It's not a love letter. It's not even technically addressed to me." Bella gave him a look as she continued to fix him his meal.

"No? Then why do you need to read it? Or why do you even have it?"

Jordan shrugged and gave a frustrated sigh. "I keep asking myself that." Bella raised an eyebrow and Jordan began to explain. "I'm pretty sure it's a girl who's writing, but anyways, she writes these letters to _No One _as a way to rant about things in her life, I guess. I don't really know. I don't even know the writer, and she doesn't know the reader, but she leaves them there everyday on bleachers and… Well I found one on Thursday and this is the one from Friday."

Bella nodded understandingly. "So why are you reading them? Or want to anyways?" He put his food in the oven and stirred his coffee. Jordan gave her a helpless look.

"I don't really know. But… I guess, I feel like by reading them, I can at least somewhat help this girl, you know? Give her some sort of moral support without actually having to talk to her. Or even know her." He bit his thumb as he scrambled for his next words. "And I guess, I don't want anyone else to see the letters because even though they're like anonymous and stuff, I don't want anyone, like sharing these secrets with the entire student body, you know? Like…"

Bella handed him his coffee with a kind smile on her face. "It's like she's telling you these secrets, because you picked up her first letter and you know you're not going to share these with everyone else. She let life choose her listener and life choose you. Right?" Jordan took a sip of his coffee and smiled.

"Exactly."

"Alright then." She smiled and reached over to ruffle his hair. "I'll read the letters to you. And we'll both be here for this girl."

**How was that? RNR please :D Oh and if someone would like to beta, that would really appreciated. **

**Much love,**

**Emma.**

**xo**


	3. The Letter

Bella handed Jordan his food and then closed the blinds to the café, and flipped over the OPEN sign to say CLOSED. She winked at him while he ate, relishing in Bella's cooking, "We don't want anyone else to over hear, now do we?"

Bella picked up the letter again and cleared her throat.

* * *

"_Dear No One,_

_So I guess you might be wondering why I am writing these letters right? I mean left you, whoever you are, with a small introduction to my loneliness and now it is time to at least, summarize why I'm like this. Bare with me however, as I'm not all too sure of why I am the way I am, I'm only 15, but I definitely have some insight. _

_To… well, at least make you understand where I'm coming from I'll give you a little background info and hope to God you don't recognize parts of my story and put two and two together. Hopefully we're complete strangers. _

_I'm from your average white-picket-fence family, you know? The oldest sibling out of two, both mother and father are still together, we have money, I mean we're not rich, but we're pretty well off, and we don't cause trouble. We go to church on the weekends and volunteer at community services. Your average, boring, mundane family. I've complained about my parents crowding me for years, I've complained about a lot of things I have actually. Things I've taken for granted and can't ever get back. There's a reason this is background information, it's the past. Because my life is falling apart at the seams. _

_Do you just ever have something so catastrophic happen seemingly over night? Like one minute everything is ok and you're happy and life is just how it always has been and then suddenly boom! Everything you once knew is gone? People you loved have left, things that were supposed to be constants were suddenly gone and you have no hope of ever getting them back? So you're left with this sinking feeling as you begin to struggle to keep your head above water, because the life-boat you've always known is suddenly gone and you never learned how to swim? So you just drown and wonder how the hell are you supposed to survive?_

_It started this summer I think. After 8__th__ grade is when my world started to shift and crumble and the house I always lived in, something that had always seemed so strong and constant was suddenly crumbling before my very eyes. Subtle at first, so you don't notice until it's all gone and it's far too late._

_There is a list of people I want to blame. And while some are innocent there are others who have played a hand in the destruction of my life. But the biggest blame goes on myself, I believe. I had the chance to stop this, to change it, but I wasn't paying attention. I could've saved not only myself but everyone else around me but I didn't because I'm an ignorant 15 year old who only cares about herself. _

_I'd like to say more but I have to go. Life is calling. Thank you friend, for listening and I hope you stick around to hear the rest of my story… just try not to judge me too harshly. I do a fine job of that on my own. _

_~A xo_

_p.s. I'll leave a new letter, or something every school day after 4__th__ period._

* * *

Bella smiled sadly at the letter while Jordan swallowed dryly. He thought back to the way his mother left and he realized _he knew exactly how this girl felt._

Bella broke the silence softly. "I'm glad you found these letters, Jordan. You can relate to this girl, and that's exactly what she needs. Someone to listen and understand her. Even if you never find out who with girl is… This is good. For both of you."

Jordan nodded slowly, his head and heart still digesting the soft-spoken words of the letter. "Yeah…" He reached over for the letter and grasped it delicately. "I've got to go…" He cleared his throat. "I'll be back Monday or Tuesday, I guess."

Bella gave him a kind smile and walked around the counter and to him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him. "Ok. I love you, kiddo, ok? Remember that please."

Jordan just nodded.

* * *

Jordan skipped band practice, not that it really mattered, seeing as Tino was probably not going to be there and girls would distract the others. He blamed the girl in the letter, but he couldn't deal with those fake girls right now. Especially after finding out there's a girl, _in his school, _who knows exactly how he feels, even if she doesn't know it.

He's not sure if that's a comforting or terrifying thing.

He drives home and gets ready for a night in. The first real night in he's had in weeks, he's realized. And as he tucks the letter safely away and strips down, he smiles briefly. Partying and sex is great, but damn, does it feel good to just lie down and take a breath.

* * *

"So…" Rayanne teased good-naturedly, waving a spoonful of Cookies N' Cream ice cream. "How about it, girl? Any cute guys got your attention?" Angela blushed light but shook her head. Ever since she gave up on her hopeless crush on Jordan Catalano at the end of 8th grade, Angela had yet to find someone new she could drool over.

"'Fraid not, Raynie." Rayanne put out her bottom lip in a pout, before shoveling more ice cream into her mouth.

"Bummer. But you're not still hung up on ol' Catalano are you?" Rickie inquired cautiously. Angela took a bite from her ice cream before answering.

She shrugged, "It took a while. He's still gorgeous but I'm not, like, _hooked _on him or something anymore." Rickie and Rayanne shared a relieved look. The last thing Angela needed was to be stuck on a guy like that.

The movie on the screen kept the dark room bright, as the three friends grew quiet and let themselves get sucked back into the magic and craziness that is The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

"Guys, we should totally do this!" Rickie and Angela shared a baffled look.

"Do what?"

"Rocky Horror! You know how there's always reenactments, for the show every other Saturday? That's what we should do! We've been trying to figure out something for all of us to do together, this is perfect!" Rickie looked a little hesitant but Angela actually seemed to be taking the suggestion into consideration.

"Don't they already have the cast?" Rickie pointed out, but Rayanne shook her head.

"I think a few of them are moving on, other theater options popping up or something like that, and if not we can just be understudies! We'd still get to learn the part and wear the costumes and make up and learn the dance and song numbers! That could actually be really fun!" Rayanne gushed to her friends. Angela looked actually excited about it while Rickie still looked a little unsure. Rayanne giggled,

"Maybe we can find you a guy, Rickie, baby. If there's a place to find gay guys, it's an reenactment of Rocky Horror!" Rickie blushed but considered it anyways. Finally Angela spoke up,

"I'm actually agreeing with Rayanne on this one. We all love the movie and know it by heart, it would be a great tribute to actually play apart in it." Rayanne squealed while Rickie's resolve crumbled.

"Fine. We'll head over there tomorrow and ask around." Rayanne threw her arms around the two of them, almost spilling the ice cream everywhere.

"Thank you guys! This is going to be so much fun!"

* * *

Angela giggled nervously. "You know, Rayanne just because I agreed to do Rocky Horror, doesn't mean I want to like _change_."

Rayanne smiled wickedly. "We're not asking you to change, we'd never ask that of you. But it's also time for a change. You're over Jordan, we're going to do Rocky Horror, and you're back on the School Paper as every part the journalist you deserve. You even went to a party the other night!" Angela stared at the bottle of Crimson Glow hair dye critically. Rayanne was right, she had changed it was time to embrace it.

"Alright. But if I look stupid I'm allowed to fuck up your hair." Rayanne giggled.

"Rickie! Come over here and help me!"

* * *

Rayanne was practically floating as the trio made their way down the streets of down town Three Rivers and towards the theater house. Rickie and Angela shared an amused smile, but their own excitement was obvious. Rickie leaned over to Angela and whispered,

"Your hair looks great by the way." Angela blushed modestly and twirled a lock of now fiery red hair between her fingers.

"Thanks."

Rickie and Angela barely had time to entire the theater house after Rayanne, when two of the head directors, Linda O'Malley and Derek Smith, walked over to them, a bubbling Rayanne at their sides.

"Damn, girl you work quick." Rickie joked but Rayanne only shrugged. Linda stepped up, she was a senior at Liberty, and smiled.

"Hi, so you guys would like to audition for Rocky Horror then? We don't really have anything official yet, but we can have you just your name on the list and when that times comes for an audition or something comes up, we can give you guys a ring." She explained while handing them a clipboard.

"But for now we can teach you some basic dance pieces and give you the sheet music so if we're in need of a stand in, you'll be ready." Angela waited for Rickie and Rayanne to finish before putting her own name down, hesitantly. She wasn't much of an actor, much less anyone who wanted to be on the stage, but she loved that movie and Rayanne was right, they had been looking for something to do as friends.

Linda gave her a kind smile. "Thank you guys. Normally we'd go over a few things with you, but we're kinda packed at the moment, as you can see," she gestured around the bustling theater house with a sheepish, but proud grin. "I'll get you guys the music once it's in next week." Someone in the back of the room called both directors and while Derek left quickly, Linda gave them a small smile.

"We'll see you guys around. I'll let you know when we have auditions."

* * *

"Dude, I'm starving! Let's go to Big Guy's!" Shane announced from Jordan's passenger seat while Joey chorused his agreement from the back. Jordan rolled his eyes but pulled into the burger joint parking lot, his own stomach growling angrily.

Shane and Joey were in the door before Jordan even left the car. He snorted. _Whatever._

When he entered Shane quickly moved towards him. "Dude Graff is here with her two loser friends. Let's get out of here. I don't want to deal with them right now."

Jordan looked over Shane's shoulder at Joey who was placing his order and then over to where Rayanne was sitting. He paused when he noticed the guy in eyeliner and the girl with red hair. He wondered where the blonde girl went, or what happened to her. Joey walked over with his plate in hand.

"Dude, who's the redhead?" He asked before stuffing his face with a burger. Shane scowled,

"Doesn't matter we're leaving." Jordan rolled his eyes.

"Nah. I'm hungry. Besides if we stay out of Graff's way, she'll stay out of ours." Jordan was lying through his teeth about Rayanne, the girl has never needed an excuse to be a bitch, but he was hungry and, admittedly, he wanted to know who the redhead was. Shane glared at him but Jordan was already moving to place his order. He shot Rayanne's table a glance to see if he could see the redhead's face.

He wasn't really sure why he wanted to see the redhead and he didn't know why he was bothered to see the blonde, or 'mousy girl', not with them. But then the redhead turned her head and their eyes met. Jordan was shocked to have those same emerald eyes stare back at him. _So she dyed her hair. _He turned away, acting like he was only glancing around the room. _It looks good._ He admitted, grabbing his food and walking back over to their table.

Rayanne said something and mousy girl tossed her head back and laughed. Jordan was surprised by how bell-like it was.

_She looked really good._

**And there's that :D RNR please!**

**Much love,**

**Emma**

**xo**


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